Clothes make the man

When Mark Twain added "Naked people have little or no influence on society", he could not imagine what the 1960s would bring. But that's a different story.

Old mustached German (OMG) told us another story, more personal than others, but in some ways reminiscent of a night out with some National Guard folks, a young couple holding on tightly to each other to cope with the effects of having been exposed to "the animals".  "They are like animals", explained the young woman, adding that she was talking about the drill instructors at Fort Benning, Georgia, the weight of her statement reinforced by the fact she was clad in U.S. Army fatigues in a sea of like dressed people, enjoying some time off after chow.

After "Dr. Strangelove redux" we were curious and peppered OMG with more questions over non-alcoholic beer. Yep, the beer flowing throughout the previous posts was all non-alcoholic, did we forget to mention that?

"I ran into my own animals, if you will", OMG explained. "One the very first day when I reported for duty", he added with a little smile that made the parched face look surprisingly young for a second. "Right before lunch, they issued us track suits to wear until we got our uniforms and gear. Put them on, assemble outside, we'll march to the mess hall. I put on my track suit pants when I realized the waistband was broken. They had rubber waistbands, not the drawstrings you are used to. I told the squad leader I need to fix it, could I follow after sewing it up? Sure, he went. So, I set about retrieving the band and sewed up the two ends. Yes, I carried a small mending kit with me and knew how to use it."

"Minutes later, I was done, put the suit on and headed to the mess hall at the other end of the compound. I was happily walking all by myself when a platoon of fellow recruits came running by. The sarge stopped them, then turned to me: 'Hey you, do you need a wheelchair?'"

"'If you have one, sure.' Fifty young men behind him burst into laughter. He turned away without another word, barked an order, and they resumed their trot, while I resumed my walk."

"I paid dearly for this", OMG continued. "All the NCOs of the company ganged up on me after the incident. Whatever crap job and whatever insidious shit they could cook up, I was the chosen one. Less than two hours after the ill fated lunch exchange, they were rearing to have a go at me.
My squad leader, reasonable just a short time ago, had closed ranks: 'Company sergeant now!'"
"Okay, I just need to lace up my running shoes."
"Leave 'em. Now, I said, now, run, now!"
Two flights of stairs with the long laces flying: "Sir!"
"You are hereby reprimanded because your boots are not laced up!"
"But..."
"You heard me! Do that again, and it'll go on your record!"

The smile had given way to an earnest expression, we were trying to find the right words but he continued, "I have only ever told this to a handful of people in the decades that have gone by. Yet, it's still there, almost word for word, how that ended is another tale, an even harsher one."

Clothes make the man.