Fine German over engineering: too much energy to make energy efficiency stickers

Germans pride themselves on their engineering prowess. Their cars are legendary, they make planes that fly, satellites that mostly work, and much more. Sometimes, they get it not quite right, as we wrote in the post Fruit flies shut down space-age German tech.

At other times, they go so overboard that hilarity ensues.

Take this sticker, a humble energy efficient label:

It is a ubiquitous indicator of environmental conscience and frugality, a merit badge for the consumer who doesn't want to give up all the consuming. It is also so pervasive you can hardly buy any appliance that has no such sticker.

Consequently, the blogster was not surprised when the central heating inspector told it* that the boiler in the basement would get just such a sticker.

You will get a C for your system, that's what almost 90% of installations in my region get, he said. The government decided to issue the labels for existing heating systems to nudge people into upgrading, he added. I am out of stickers, though, so I'll have to come back next week after I go into the city to pick up a few more boxes.

Can't you just scan one, print it, and slap it on?

Opening his briefcase and pulling out a folder, he broke into a wide grin.

That's not how it is done. They have individual serial numbers, he pointed to the bottom of a D sticker from the folder. There was a big black arrow to the right of the D, pointing toward it. See, and there is a small sticker right here on the label, with the serial number again. That small one gets peeled of and put on the index card I keep for your heating system. And then, at home, I scan it in.

Oh.

Yeah, and I don't have enough C labels because they send the labels in mixed boxes of 25 each, like 2 'A's, 5 'B's, fewer than 10 'C's, and so forth. Which means, I ran out of C stickers - again.

I see, you'd expect boxes that contain only one grade of label, right?

That would make too much sense for the government engineers and bureaucrats. I can't imagine why anybody would come up with a process so involved for a label hardly anybody will ever see.

The blogster thought, well, Germans, but kept the thought to itself. After all, here was one German who recognized the futility of the process.

The gentleman was going to make an extra trip to the city to pick up more labels, but even shipping labels of which only half will ever be used is a sad process.

And the undertaking comes at a time that has seen the blogster reduce its fossil fuel use by 75% through home insulation, new windows and solar hot water on the roof.

But the Germans have it covered - there is an energy efficiency label for that, too!

A few years ago, Germany made an energy audit mandatory prior to selling a house or apartment.

It is a detailed report, the blogster has seen one.

It also features an energy efficiency label just like the one shown above.

* Gender neutral forever.