Achievements that do not qualify - final

This is the third installment in our series "Achievements that do not qualify". As tempted as we are to add more, we decided to end the series because three is such a cute number.

It is dedicated to those who really need our protection because they cannot fend for themselves without support. It includes the frail, the children, the sick, the exploited, and folks like "the cousin" with an IQ literally half that of the inimitable, yet dangerous people who need to feel that they run the world.