Getting a badass look for very little money

One hundred dollars or so for a new me. Much better than two hundred dollar sweat pants and a fake Rolex.

Sure, you can start planning for Halloween - no problem when the Easter bunnies show up on grocery store shelves on the 2nd of January.

But even outside of Halloween you can probably think of many reasons for a new look.

The reason behind today's post is straightforward: a local amateur theater play. As many of the genre, it was a comedy of errors type of play, with that obvious homage to Oscar Wilde, but less earnest.

One of the characters was named Little John.

Well, that's our translation of Kleiner Something-in-German, it conveys the same image. The suspense about Little John was, of course, created and built up by the on stage cast only talking about Little John during the whole first act.

Do we need to explain that Little John was not little?

Well, now you know.

In fact, Little John was everything but. Standing about 6 ft 5 at an estimated weight of just under 250 lbs and a pair of in-your-face tattooed arms, he made the men and the women in the audience quiver, though likely not quite with the same regional physical effects.

He was a likable rogue, the kind of 6 foot plus baby that can crush your fingers as if they were matches - American cardboard matches. Reactions of a couple of ladies in the audience indicated that they were not thinking about matches or - if they did - they would have set his clothes on fire with the matches so they could then rip of his attire.

The sleeves were fake tats, we found out later, available on the internet at various outlets, like this temporary tattoo store. Yes, the Hawaiian Hula Girl sleeves are perfect.

The next thing we need is a wig. Our preference is this trucker cap mullet, for a cheap wig it looks mighty fine.

Colored contact lenses are optional but cannot be recommended highly enough. You may not want to spend money for talking an eye doctor into prescribing Twilight Saga contacts, but believe me, colored contact lenses are the world's least talked about addiction.

Especially when you wear a different color in each eye.

The effects on others can be astounding. Some people get confused and slightly nervous  without realizing why, others experience an unexplained feeling of giddiness, and a few will notice the color difference and say something.

The blogster can hardly wait to try the sleeves on a summer trip into the city. We'll let you know if they have the expected Moses effect, effortlessly parting the waves of humanity.