Excited about the new sister?

Excitement about a new sibling is a constant across cultures and times.

So, does it make much of a difference how long it takes between the birth of a sibling and his or her introduction to the family?

It certainly does if that period of time spans decades, thirty or forty years, or even more.

Remember Jim, Harvey's son? *

Sure, do you have news from him, how is he?

I met him last year at an event, and he told me his mom had passed.

Oh, I knew her, she was a great woman, lively, helpful. She must have been in her seventies, right?

Seventy six or so, the cigarettes finally caught up with her, lung cancer, only a couple of weeks between diagnosis and her death.

Bummer.

Yes, but then something happened. Several weeks after her passing, the telephone rang in Jim's office. A woman was at the other end, she asked are you Jim Tally? He said, yes, and she said, well, I am your younger half sister Barbara.

What?

He was incredulous but she explained and all of a sudden, that odd one year earlier in his mom's life made perfect sense.

You mean, when she left Wichita to work in Omaha for a year while Ben was deployed overseas?

Exactly. She had just started at Sears when Ben was shipped out to war, and then she moved to Omaha for a year, that was the year Jim's sister was born. She left a few weeks after she realized she got pregnant, and grandma took care of Jim during that time, he was about four years old or so, old enough to remember the absence.

There's some hard explaining to do, first your dad goes to war, and shortly after, your mom leaves you. They told him that Sears had an advanced training program in Omaha and his mother had been selected as one twenty employees out of over a thousand applicants.

She gave the baby up for adoption?

Yes, came back, resumed her life, Ben came back from war, and they carried on as you have known them.

And Jim?

He was curious, of course, a bit worried. Upset, too, because he spent her last weeks on the side of his mom, and she did not tell him even on her deathbed. That hurt, he said, because everybody else is long dead. His grandma, of course, then Ben died about ten years ago, now his mom, only one uncle left, that's it.

The sister, how did she find out her mother had died?

From what she said, her mother did get in touch with her adoptive parents when she was an adult, and the adoptive parents brokered a re-union. Having promised the mother to not contact other family members, the mother did stay in touch, even visited once or twice a year.

That sounds nice, actually. Not your standard adopting out and cutting all ties.

Yes, and that certainly required some effort and, well, it does show she was a great woman, in a way, doesn't it?  Who knows, maybe she had planned to tell Jim but couldn't, we'll never know.

How's he doing now?

He is happy, said, hey I got myself one new sister and two nephews in just one telephone call.

Wasn't he wondering if there might be more secrets?

Briefly, but what can you do?

* We have changed all names and locations.