Saturday, May 31, 2014

Communicate with cats & beat the web trolls!

Can we still suggest a name for the upcoming real time monitoring of social media by the German foreign intelligence service BND?

What, you cannot tell us if the suggestion period is still open, 'cause of de zecracy?

And we had the perfect name: Operation Breadcrumbs straight out of the Brothers Grimm Haensel & Gretel.

Come on, got to admit it is not bad.

Short of learning the dolphin click language, how can you at least pretend to have some privacy on the web?

You can make like the Chinese and hand write a message on a paper which you then scan in and send. You'll know if it worked or not when some uniform kicks down your door. Alternatively, you can embrace your German cultural heritage and learn the Suetterlin script. Which would show that surveillance can have so many benefits.

Or you can use mother nature's captcha called cats.

If you understood mother nature's captcha without clicking on the link to find out what it could be, chances are you are a computer literate cat person.

In which case you also know that nature loves putting letters on cats in the form of stripes.

Our very on Cowboy cat sported, I kid you not, the word "HOT" on one side and a passable German translation on the other side of his body.

This means, if you get enough usable cat pictures from the internet with reasonably well defined words, you can wish your favorite auntie a Merry Christmas by sending the appropriate cat photos.

As Google and other search engines will tell you, there are so many cat pictures on the web that we are confident you will find all the letters of the English alphabet if you just browse long enough.

You can make a game out of it for your kids, for instance, or for your teenage sons to get the latter away from the nekid ladies on the web.

Or turn it into an art project and become famous as the first person to piece together the American Constitution out of cat "letter" photos.

When TheEditor ran the story of HOT cat by a friend, the friend laughed and said, now that you say that, I recall a friend of mine had a cat whose stripes said LSD, really.

You do not need to stop with cats, either.

Musical notation works, too. At least, when you get locked up in some gulag, you can pass time with music.

And if you do use Operation Breadcrumbs, be nice and credit us so the world won't find out you nicked the name when someone leaks the docs, thanks.

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