Being nice to customer service reps

It is way easy to find customer service horror stories on the web, but yours truly has always been trying very hard to be nice to these strangers on the phone who spend a good part of their lives with more or less friendly, more or less irate customers.

Of course, yours truly is absolutely sure to have stuck to the "always be nice protocol", even in stressful situations. To be honest, I know that the overall tone of voice certainly did give away a feeling of distress in a couple of cases, but even then it is possible to be friendly to the person on the other end.

The other day, a fun letter arrived from the cable company, no name, but it does not start with a T.
The letter said Thank you for your order and went on to praise me for having become a customer "a few days ago" and segued into a special offer for cable TV for only 5 Euros for three months.
Apart from the fact that sending a technician to remove the hardware filter would really mean they give away free TV for at least six months, there is a more pressing concern when you receive a Thank you for your order letter.

An invoice or a credit card charge are typically never far behind.

Which is a problem if you have not ordered anything.

But they had a toll free number, which is noteworthy in Europe. It's a customer service thing, we've written about the sly use of "premium" numbers around here, another ingenious "money for nothing" scheme.

After only a few rings, a lady picks up, introduces herself and asks how she can help. I explain that I received a letter thanking me for an order and would like to ensure that nobody did place an order under my name.

Oh, I think I know what you are talking about, she goes.

I chuckle, I hoped so.

The one signed by Mrs. June?

That's the one.

I'm sorry. I'll check your account just to make sure.

While she types and waits for the computer to spit out what it knows, we chat, and she asks if I am interested in the TV subscription.

I don't do TV.

So, you are a reader. What have you been reading lately?

While this might have been a good time to say 50 Shades of Grey and see what happens next, you just don't do this with a customer service rep.

Ever.

Oh, volume 4 of Game of Thrones, a huge book.

The computer at her end has come alive, and she verifies nothing has changed. We part wishing each other a good day and a different letter template for Mrs. June.

Again, be nice to customer service folks. You might save someone's life.