Only a few major German news outlets picked up an international study on average penis length. Der Spiegel was one of the takers.
We did not read the article because we deemed it too nonsensical, even with the teasing sub-header saying German males came in under average.
Why then would we go and write about it, assuming an act of reading has to take place before?
You are right, we finally gave in and read it, grinning happily afterwards - not because of that German thing but because the piece confirmed exactly why we hadn't touched it. The piece features just about everything: bad sample sizes, differences in the order of 0.5 cm, a mandatory reassurance for the shorter males that everything is okay despite the numbers, plus a link to some other sexual topic article at the end.
The related subject is baldness, this odd topic affecting mostly males, the subject of innumerable jokes and millions of dollars in sales of chemicals to make them grow.
It may have to do with men believing even less than women in the "beautiful on the inside" mantra, or maybe no man really wants to look like a Donald with a second hand merkin.
On par with fat shaming, male baldness gives men a taste of what women encounter in much greater numbers every day.
But what should an obese, balding male with a tiny penis do in this cruel world? Go into hair regrowth research? Get rich enough to exploit the declining importance of any of these characteristics that sets in above a certain monthly income?
The situation is even worse for German males, again, not because of being deemed below average, but because "the quota" passed German parliament after years of heated debate.
The K-Landnews published an acclaimed series on Homo Teutonicus some two years ago, such as the post homo teutonicus simplex III, with broad strokes on the topic,
The number of German female managers to benefit from a quota - hint: below 50% - on the boards of publicly traded firms is in the low two thousand but German conservatives feel under greater performance pressure than before, with some taking out their frustration on the still new and halting implementation of a minimum wage.
If you can spare a few seconds of your time today, think about the hard life of the average German male. It may seems insignificant compared to the crises around you, but even below average concerns feel very real to the affected individuals.
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