Back already?
As we said way back when: ditching a platform of self-righteousness is not easy.
We will try, but we decided to end the year with dolphins getting high on puffer fish answering the question we have had for a year now: what were the people on who wrote the newest German law on the TV and radio license?
Having been bombarded with mail by the folks who process TV licenses in Germany, we mastered the courage to look into it.
Low income residents can get a waiver, and since our tax return shows income below the threshold, we thought, let's save the 200 Euros a year and apply.
You need to go to one of the social security services and submit their statement.
You may have to move some funds into an account which you cannot access under any circumstance before retirement, but once you do this, you are good.
That's where it gets interesting.
If you are a German citizen, you proceed, and you can decide to waive any money from social security, or you take it henceforth and live high on the hog. Just kidding with that latter part of the sentence.
If you are a foreigner, though, you cannot do this as easily. Say you have some work income below the social security cut-off and supplement this with income from investment.
You would have to move the investment into your retirement age. All 101% of it (100% principal plus the 1% interest). Which leaves a gap, which means you automatically violate the "sufficient income" provision of the German law that governs the conditions you need to comply with as a foreigner in this country. Thou shalt not collect social security benefits is one of the generic provisions, less so for EU nationals, more so for non-EU citizens.
While the "Auslaenderamt" does not have to kick you out of the country when you fall on hard times, they can try, and they are known to do so.
It is a nifty unintentional Catch 22 situation for foreigners who are not wealthy enough to simply buy themselves EU citizenship.
The benefit: the law can be said to discriminate against foreigners by preventing them from applying for a fee waiver in the same way as the Germans.
What to do?
Bitch and petition is what we did, the results will be in next year.
For those of you middle class or lower middle class folks thinking of moving to the European Union, you need to set up a Trust Fund beforehand.
Have the Trust Fund wire you exactly the amount of money you are required by law to have, not a cent more or a cent less. You won't be poor enough to be sent packing, or as the case may be herded off without being able to pack, and at the same time you won't be "rich enough" to make folks want some of the riches you do not really have.
We simply hope that we will be wealthy trust fund kids in our next life so we can pay for services we do not want, do not use and cannot really afford.
Alternatively, though a much harder life, why not be a dolphin next time around?
Do not be worried about our well being. While many German web sites call the previous incarnation of the license fee body some really nasty names, we have been told that they are just people, no jack boots, no five in the morning license collection swat teams.
Oh, wait, we are out working at five in the morning.
As they back home: Happy Fuckin' New Year!
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