Thursday, January 1, 2015

Surviving new year's fireworks in Germany

Being the jesters we are, we had to wait with this post until after the fireworks in Germany's New Year celebrations.

New Year's Eve is one of the few days of the year where the K-Landnews follows rituals. They include watching the German traditional "Dinner for One", a skit from the 1960s enacting a stereotypical English comedy done well enough to capture German audiences for a good half century while being unknown in England.

The other part of the NYE ritual consists of lots of chuckling on the way home after midnight during neighborhood fireworks.

The exploding showers of light high up are fun to look at, and Americans love fireworks, but there are other things that go bang which can be a problem.

If you have done your laundry in the US at one of those laundromat that sports multiple copies of a big sign saying "Remove bullets from clothes" along the rows of dryers, you are a prime candidate for getting scared for several years in Germany on new Year's Eve.

Because Germans set off a lot of fireworks that only produce loud bangs on the ground.

With just a little bit of sound distortion due to buildings, traffic, or vegetation, some of these sound just like gun fire.

So, during your first few years in Germany, you may experience a few adrenalin rushes on New Year's Eve in addition to whatever else your usual emotional makeup on the day happpens to be.

What can you do about it?

Go out into the noise.

Staying home may be the worst option, because it creates an exact replica of a standard American ghetto night.

We have managed to stay upright despite all reflexes yelling "duck, fuck, duck" and all muscles pulling toward the safety of the ground.

Laugh.

Laughing helps against bang fears as it does in everyday life.

Remember, you have 364 days to relax until you experience it again.

Happy New Year.

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