Counterfeit euros

To be handed out to the poor by European Central Bank.

A K-Landnews exclusive: As we reported in the previous post, a politician suggested giving away all the products with horsemeat to the needy.

We suggested that the European Central Bank do the same with counterfeit money.

And we can proudly report that the European Central Bank has picked up our proposal.

Says M. Oney, spokesperson for the EU Central Bank: We can see the clear logic in the proposals by a member of the little known blog Krautlandnews. Counterfeit money falls into the same category as counterfeit lasagne. Both can be circulated without people seeing what they really have, only tests show that they are not what the print says. Starting 1 April 2013, the EU Central Bank will give away all counterfeits to the poor and needy. Distribution will be exclusively through Deutsche Bank because we at the Central Bank feel that Deutsche Bank is currently the one bank that understands the mindset behind our deliberations best. They beat out HSBC by a comfortable margin.

Emboldened by the reception of our ideas, we decided to up the ante!

We ask European customs officials to implement the same forward looking, socially responsible policies for other counterfeit goods!

Fake Prada handbags, fake Gucci shoes, fake Lagerfeld shirts, fake perfums, all of these are currently wasted when impounded.

Give them to the poor and needy, and you ameliorate their chances of finding work, too.

Says our local poor person: Man, if I show up for the burger flipping job or the cleaner position in Lagerfeld or Ralph Loren and Guccis, how can they not hire me?

[Update by TheEditor: We also see a viable option in distributing counterfeit medication to the poor and needy as a means to control exploding healthcare costs. And who would not want to be buried in a free Lagerfeld or RL outfit.]