Imitation seafood, imitation orgasm

What you think you see is not what you get.

Surprise anyone?

On the heels of tests in the US showing that the fish you think you are buying is likely to be a different species, the weekend in Germany brought us news of large-scale fraudulent "organic eggs".

Some 200 or so producers are being investigated for taking conventional eggs and turning them into organic produce with a little bit of ink on a label.

If you have not read our post Meaty Words, now would be a good time in order to understand the simple economic logic behind this.

We would not be the K-landnews, however, if we stopped there, so let's take it a step further.

The "cannot see it, cannot taste" it paradigm has a long tradition in human trade. From counterfeit Roman coins at our Roman History Museum to anti-freeze in wine to goldmines in Florida.

The K-landnews paradigm is: What can be faked will be faked.

The K-landnews library of paper books contains a wonderful tome on chemistry, The Encyclopedia of Practical Receipts and Processes by K. Dick from 1898.

The book contains a section about "imitation" liquors, from imitation brandy to imitation bourbon, and it has a great selection of recipes for imitation gemstones.

The K-landnews team has a solution to all the negativity about fake food or fake anything: bring back that wonderful label "imitation".

Horsemeat in lasagne? The label "imitation beef" will solve it!

Eggs? Yes, "imitation organic eggs"!

Plagiarized doctoral thesis? "Imitation doctoral thesis", and you receive the title iPhD, assuming Apples has not trademarked that one yet.

A faked orgasm? Keep the hubs happy and create a little bit of mystery with that "imitation orgasm"!

If you do not like the word "imitation", may we suggest Potemkin as an alternative. Used historically for fake village, the term Potemkin could be substituted for some of the "imitation" labels and make "Potemkin beef" sound as expensive as Kobe beef.

Don't use it for that "imitation doctoral thesis", though, and don't use it for "imitation orgasm" either.

Other than that, be creative.

Planning to replace 90% of your factory workers with robots? Don't!

Replace your humans with imitation co-workers!