Airlines and security - well, if you shake your head every time there is some scurrilous or patently absurd news item around this topic, you end up with a series of concussions worse than in Pro football.
So, just smile.
Smile lines make you appear older but you live longer.
Smile, like in the case of the sixty-ish guy who walked into the cockpit and sat behind the pilot, not doing anything other than what many kids since the invention of flight have been dreaming about. Not the right thing to do in this day and age. Result, he is arrested so that we can feel safe.
One more reason to fly Icelandair - they'd never let a a scraggy old guy get that far.
Did you know that some airlines had the habit of asking relatives of airline workers to do testing of baggage screeners and security?
Next time you are in line behind the jovial old lady at security, make an extra effort to be nice to hear. She might have two bright orange dummy hand grenades labelled "Property of WTF Air" in her suitcase and help you be safe.
Of course, there is a chance that the suitcase makes it through the x-ray machine, with questions asked about her lipstick but not about the near ostrich egg sized oval thingies. Okay, they are not that big, but we have not managed to mention ostrich eggs in over 300 posts on this blog.
The old lady, by the way, is no longer accepting such requests after her last adventure.
She did not want to get on the plane with the dummies, so she tried to hand them in to the gate keepers. Who were not too alarmed but still politely refused to take the Easter eggs.
She went all the way back to the ticket sales counter, handed them over to bemused WTF Air ground personnel, then went through security again, almost missing her flight.
What lessons can we learn from this?
Never accept orange Easter eggs with a "Property of ..." inscription, only accept plain, unlabeled eggs, or become a vegan and Just say No. If you do take them, eat them before going through security.
If you want to be in a cockpit, take flying lessons, or (cheap and easy) find an old copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator.
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