Friday, November 22, 2013

Sex and the Germans

Many hard questions have haunted us in the years of living in Germany. For example, since the German population is decreasing, are they simply not doing "it"?

Or are they doing it in ways that beats the old equation "population = copulation * (effort + opportunity)", in other words, somebody changed the equation? Are Germans getting so tired of themselves that they pretty much stopped making more Germans?

We decided to investigate.

The assembled Random Research team accepted the task with their trademark stoicism.

You have all heard about sex, and we assume you have all done it.

Nods, and one But I did not inhale.

We need to approach the task in a scientific manner. You cannot let your personal beliefs be in the way of knowledge, and above all, you must not enjoy this project. If someone asks, you do it out of a sense of duty, honor, and responsibility, not because you enjoy an intimate look at people's lives, okay.
So, read the German tabloids, find dating sites on the internet, oh, and don't go to the satire mag Titanic's web site -- they don't seem to have worked their way up through the encyclopedia to the entry "sex". Are we all clear on this?

Quick question?

Sure.

If we go to a casual sex encounters site and find, I don't know, the old couple from next door or a friend with breasts and other bare parts, what do we do?


Keep mum. Remember, science, no supposedly funny email saying, oh, hey, it's you, no remarks at the meat counter in the grocery store, like, oh, Mr. Meyer, I'd buy the package of super sized sausages if I were you.

We'll share the RR team's insights with you as they become available.

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