Deutsche Telekom vehicles to be banned

From German freeways and expressways starting in 2016.

Deutsche Telekom's new internet plans with speed caps at dumbass traffic volumes has caused experts to take a look at the arguments and the general business practices of Deutsche Telekom.

Here is a recap of the Pinky Heads case for the new dumbed down internet:

1) Very few people generate huge amounts of traffic, potentially slowing down the net.

2) Hilda the hairdresser sort of pays for the traffic of the heavy users.

German motor vehicle expert G. Gas has confirmed that he is going to petition the federal government to ban all Deutsche Telekom vehicles from freeways and expressways.

Mr. Gas explained that Telekom trucks, trucks of their subcontractors as well as private vehicles used for the daily commute of the Pinky Heads generate a lot more traffic than average road users' traffic.

Mr. Gas pointed out that unlike "potential internet slowdowns in the future", motor traffic slowdowns have happened for decades. 

It is only fair to normal users to take the heavy users off the road, and we have seen it works. The weekend truck bans during the peak driving season should be extended to a 24/7 ban for Deutsche Telekom. Since Deutsche Telekom is pioneering slowdowns and soon bans in communications, they would be the perfect company to experiment on in the motor vehicle sector.
Deutsche Telekom also does not want customers to pay for the traffic of other customers, so this would be a great fit. After all, right now, the tax payer pays for Deutsche Telekom related motor vehicle infrastructure.

Deutsche Telekom is a reasonable company, and I am sure they would more than understand if the taxpayer declined to pay for their vehicle infrastructure, Mr. Gas explained. As CEO Obermann said, "no one has a right to unlimited traffic volumes", and I could not agree more. We should keep German freeways clear for traffic that does not discriminate.

Another option would be to revoke Deutsche Telekom's right of ways and to change the way they compensate landowners for facilities on private and public lands. It is a matter of plain logic to make the compensation dependent on the volume of data transmitted if Deutsche Telekom itself regards volumes as a measure of revenue.

Anti-Telekom activists are not fond of Mr. Gas' proposals. They want the infrastructure transferred back into government control.

Look, said a balaclava wearing anarchist pointing at his black keyboard: 90% of their infrastructure was given to them for free, and those fuckwads cannot behave themselves.  They are like, like, child millionaires ripping cable strands out of homes one by one like a five year old rips the legs off of a fly.