Esoteric Germans

The Germans are flocking to esoteric beliefs and practices in droves.

That's big news this weekend.

One of the few remaining trustworthy news papers, Die Zeit, has a long article and talks of a boom. As a note on the "trustworthy", the K-landnews has recently removed Der Spiegel from its A list. The spiced up, entertainyness of Der Spiegel comes way too close to the blog you are reading now.

The problem with this is that we do not even pretend we have something useful to say, whereas Der Spiegel really has moved into the same corner as the Fake Hitler diaries honey pot Der Stern.

Back to the esoterics craze in Krautland. For an American, that's old news.

An American reaction would be a shrug, and - if you feel like making an effort - a mumbled "so what".

But since researchers here take it very seriously, a couple of unsolicited reminders to our German friends might be just what the guru has not ordered.

The Zeit article lists a litany of practices like "energized water" in the bread of your favorite bakery in addition to our old stateside favorites like Feng Shui.

The gross disregard of the K-landnews team for the laborious distinctions made by most begs the question: what the f*** is so different between energized water and bottled holy water?

The bottle?

We can only talk about esoterics because enough dominant thinkers have convinced the rest of us that there is a difference between our mainstream beliefs and religions and esoteric thought and practice.

If you do not accept this conceptual fence, if the frankincense in church seems much like the herb cigar used to make that foetus turn into the correct birthing position, why should you bother following the debate about the boom of esoterism?

One of the K-landnews reasons is, of course, to make fun of those getting all worried about negative effects of esoteric thinking and practices on people.

Someone giving away all their possessions to follow a spiritual guide, people developing mental health issues -- are you kidding me?

May we remind you that the Church with the capital C has had the exact same effects? Until very recently, meaning in living memory.

The story told to us less than two weeks ago, waiting to be sausaged into a blog post goes like this. It happened right here in Western Europe, not on one of the phantom islands from Apple Maps.

The aunt of the storyteller was a widow and owned the farm the family were living on. As the health of the aunt deteriorated, the town priest began to show up at the house regularly. He was a very nice elderly chap, he prayed with the aunt, he was very supportive of her.
And he suggested to the old lady to include the Church in her will so as to bequeath the farm to the Lord.
As his visits and his reminders to the old lady, who was very pious, multiplied, the family eventually saw no other solution but to block his visits.
The front door no longer opened when the priest came.
So, the good shepherd would make sure to catch the head of the family after Sunday mass.
And when that was thwarted by the head of the family heading straight to the pub before the mass (as opposed to the customary post-mass drink), he tried the kids.
The aunt eventually passed away, and to the relief of the family, she had not given the farm to the Church.

Yes, we know, so don't go there, please.