Bong owners enjoy greater legal protection in Germany than radio owners?

This post would not have been written without the Daily Show and the Colbert Report segments on the new pot laws in Colorado and Washington. They triggered research which took us to the outer limits of the human condition.

We looked at our findings and thought, can it be true that bong owners enjoy greater legal protection in Germany than radio owners?
What are we missing here, is our German so bad that we came to a wrong conclusion?

It is in fact true that you can possess a bong in Germany and the authorities will not invoke their substantial legal powers to punish you for owning such a device.

The reason seems to be that you can smoke tobacco and other herbs using a bong. The mere fact that you buy one does not mean you use it to smoke pot (a schedule whatever substance around here, just like under federal law in the U.S.).

So, while you have the technical means to smoke pot, no one will go after you unless they catch you in the act or with an illegal substance.

Owning a radio broadcast receiver (as opposed to a two way communication device) in Germany is a different matter. If you own a radio, a tv or a computer in Germany, you are liable to pay the 219 Euro "radio and TV license fee" that finances German "public" radio and tv to the tune of some 8 billion euros (2013 estimates), which is pretty much the budget of the NSA, according to leaked documents of recent months.
It really is the law: if you have the technical means, no matter if you use them, you pay. Yes, you could use your radio as a coaster, you still pay.

To an unsophisticated mind like that of the blogster this seems very unfair. The blogster does not smoke pot, does not own a tv, and listens to non-German public radio on a computer.

At the end of the day or the end of the world, whichever end of you prefer, all of this wouldn't matter that much were it not for the ferocity that the license fee collectors go after people and businesses to get the cash.

The fee is for the greater good of society, providing a basic service of information for the benefit of all residents.

We saw a figure the other day about tax evasion and want to share this with you. Estimates put the amount of money lost through tax evasion every year in Germany at around 60 billion euros. The likelihood of being audited is minimal, as in maybe once in a couple of decades.

How much money is that? It is roughly twice the 32 billion a year the Germans spend in social support benefits for some 5.2 million people that are long-term unemployed or need SSI.

In case you don't know, Germany as a registration requirement for residents. Move here or move within the country, you need to register with ID at town hall within a couple of weeks. It is a law from the second half of the 1930s and comes in handy.

That massive database (there are some 81 million residents here) was given to the public broadcasters last year in the name of "fee equality", and they will get an updated copy later in 2014 to catch the stragglers. 

To the German government, the financing of PBS/NPR in the U.S. is an utter mystery.

How on earth can this work they say?

And to those Germans making more than 20 Euros a month above the low-low wages that make you eligible (in theory, less so in practice) for a fee exemption?

People who can barely feed a family tend to get creative. Which in itself upsets the government to no end: if these lowly folks are that creative, how come they don't use their wits to get a better job?

We can disclose to our readers that we are seeing a spike in empty apartments and houses out here in the countryside coinciding with the new fee structure. The fee, for private citizens, is per housing unit. So, a family of 10 in one house pays the same as family of one next door.
Believe it or not, many young Germans in rural areas started moving back in with their parents when the new fee took effect. You know what that means, right?

We have not heard of Germans buying themselves a bong and corresponding herbs to relieve the pain caused by the government once again sc*****ing over the little guy while exempting those who own a home plus a second home from the unjust fee for that second home.

We only explain the startling population movement to our English speaking readers in order to at least not facilitate yet another crackdown on the parasites evading the radio and tv license fee.

Maybe we should put a pot leaf sticker on our computer and claim it is obviously exempt from the fee?