High intellectual caliber to be classified as dual use instrument?

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Rumors on the internet have it that some lawmakers somewhere - we wish we could be more specific - are mulling classifying high intellectual caliber as a dual use instrument as a first step to implementing license requirements.

History has shown high intellectual caliber can be used for the benefit of civil society or as a means to terrorize average citizens by creating an environment of confusion and fear.

We have successfully regulated technologies and substances as diverse as battle tanks and water, why not high intellectual caliber, ask proponents of swift action.

High intellectual caliber is very much comparable to water, they say. Cleaned and filtered, and in small quantities, it is life giving. Unclean, unfiltered and in great quantities it can cause death and destruction.

It is accepted that you can buy water at the grocery store in quantities of up to about 5 gallons per container. 

Surely, you understand people would be rightly worried if you pulled up with a 20 000 gallon liquid manure tanker at Walmart and shouted: fill her up! Parents would steer their kids away, the homeless panhandlers would move to a safer location.

Are you not afraid when you read ACME Company is bringing in high-powered consultants to "resolve" a crisis?

Where a CAL 50 can blow away a manhole cover from a mile away, the right consultants (also known as "big guns") can blow away a manhole cover from thousands of miles away, or annihilate trade barriers around whole countries with just a little extra effort.

When the media reports "an army of lawyers", do you just chuckle and find it a funny image? Think again, lawyers are like the AK-47 of intellectual power, abundant, everywhere, almost never jam, and mass produced even in smaller countries.

The effort to regulate intellectual high caliber will in no way affect intellectual small caliber. The latter is indispensable in entertainment, although they can do some damage at point blank range on Twitter or Facebook.

But that's part of the risk of everyday life, nothing some oxys or a drink cannot fix.

The same applies to "duds", or intellectual blanks as we call them. They can be loud and annoying but regulating them would put whole industries out of business.

We simply have to strike the right balance between intellectual caliber and security.