The K-landnews landed another scoop, beating the NYT and TheGuardian to it.
Our last scoop had to do with walking a dog, but this one is the real sh**.
In the immediate aftermath (post mathematics) turmoil of the Snowden tragedy, American household goods retailers have begun to report a steep rise in the theft of kitchen sinks.
A spokesperson for the chain Homey Depot told the K-Landnews: It started with a couple of extra sinks going missing about two days after that English paper wrote about the NSA. We did not pay much attention at first because of natural fluctuations in the number of sinks we lose through theft. Things happen, like, maybe John Doe from the kitchen isle has a friend who needs a sink. But the trend continued, so we got the police involved. They, in turn, talked to a Homeyland Security Fusion Center, you know, where they do fusion cooking, everything goes into a big pot, and then they make a mess that needs to be cleaned up.
K-Landnews: Did you learn anything from that?
Homey Depot: They asked us if there were, like, Asian looking people mingling with the latinos outside the store. When we confirmed it, they told us to shut up.
The K-Landnews Random Research team went, of course, all in on this.
What we found is the first real proof of damage to National Security by the leak of Mr. Snowden.
In the mad shill scramble by the government spin doctors (not AMA accredited), one informed source said: "We, as Americans, simply have to throw everything but the kitchen sink at the terrorists threatening this great nation."
The K-landnews team has reason to believe that Al Kade signal intelligence (the one English speaking guy watching CNN) picked up this piece of communication and passed it on to the guys in the background.
We must assume that terrorists all over the world now consider kitchen sinks extremely desirable and very dangerous.
Why, after all, would the US throw everything except the kitchen sink at them?
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