Diplomacy 101

As a reader of this blog, you know we do many things badly, and we don't do one thing: political diplomacy.

TheEditor has nothing but scorn an ridicule for political diplomacy. Personal diplomacy on the other hand is high on his or her list of values. Letting others save face is more important to us than saving our own or saving money.

Being dismissive of diplomacy is not the best foundation for writing a post on 'Diplomacy 101'. Germany's rapidly aging population has come to our rescue more than once and did for this post, too.

The treasure of knowledge and wisdom in old people with too much time on their hands is a virtually untapped resource, with Walmart the only US company that even tries to put that wisdom to use. This is what the Walmart greeters are about, not about the exact shelf location of some cereal or toothpaste.

Diplomacy 101 comes to you courtesy of a friend of the K-Landnews in his or her own words, reshuffled by TheEditor for that prized "single author" look and feel.

The negotiation
My first really important project was a negotiation, a big deal. I had been out of college for maybe a year and work still had this 'new car smell'. Everything was interesting, even re-filling a stapler. When my manager called to tell me I would be on an infrastructure negotiation team, my sense of purpose in life was given a boost. This was me going to do something good for my country, I was going to be able to contribute like the grown-up I was.

On the day of the meeting, I woke up before the alarm rang and was on my way early. The meeting was to last the whole day, so I packed a sandwich just in case we'd be locked up in a conference room all day - grown-up style. The participants from the other agencies arrived in time, everybody shook hands and made small talk.  

It's funny, I even recall, or think I recall, the weight of my briefcase. It contained part of the project, a small piece of a better future, and it felt light and great.

My agency was a small, specialized outfit, and I had been added to the team at a late stage, which meant no in-depth coordination with the rest beyond a couple of specific technical points.

The meeting was between two parties, let's call them Team A and Team B, with my team being Team A. Yes, you may smile.

After the meet and greet of Team A and Team B, everybody filed into the conference room, took a seat according to hierarchy and importance.

This was when the chief of Team A took me aside. "Can I have a minute with you?", he said and moved to the exit. "Sure", I followed.

Once outside of the room, he assured himself that we were alone, then said: "You need to know that they won't get what they want."

Stunned silence.

He was calm and poised. A posture I would look for in negotiators ever after. "The point is, we are required to negotiate with them for both legal and political reasons. So, whatever you say or don't say, my mandate it to nix their request, and you will have to comply."

"I understand, I will."

The "I understand" part of my response was, of course, not true. I did not want to play along with anybody who would put twenty people in a room for a whole day with the expressed purpose to achieve nothing.

Yet, here I was, doing just that. I sat there and watched them do their thing. The whole negotiation had a surreal atmosphere to me as I saw and heard them go through the project in all the details, discussing all minutiae.

Had the A Team lead not told me upfront, I would not have noticed. This is how convincing they were. We broke for lunch and even went out for lunch with Team B.

It was only after lunch that Team A moved to the "no". Over the course of the next two or so hours, this "no" became firm, and Team B went through the stages of grief. The final note of the A Team chief held out the promise that all was not lost, maybe.

After the goodbyes, the A Team chief put on a big smile. "This one is dead, and we have not alienated them."

I have never looked at the world in the same way since. And I remember I was just as tired as I was after a day of productive work.