Pants down in the barn

From our Think Twice about Rural Living.

One of the big German publishing  success stories in recent years is a glossy magazine called Landlust.  A not quite as over the top as Country Living, but close.

As an English speaker, try not to  read too much into the second noun of this composite.

The K-Landnews Random Research (Arr Arr) team balked at the audience research request lobbed at it a few days ago, so TheEditor made up this summary.

It's a safe bet to say that nobody who lives in a small working village or hamlet will buy the mag. City people who have never set foot on a farm are the audience. Some copies will end up on coffee tables at consultant firms, at luxury hotels, and in the offices of pricey lawyers and doctors who work with private clients only.

Many modern day German farmers will not instinctively reach for their Round-Up canister any more when they see the cover of the July August 2013 edition with cornflowers. 

But they won't buy.

Life in a very small place does not necessarily mean you sign away all privacy. What you do share will not be used against you, not normally, but it will be talked about.

A friend from a couple of towns down the road shared the following anecdote a while ago.

The aftermath of the marriage of the decade, possibly the marriage of the century in this tiny town, had subsided. The whole community loved the perfect couple, who by then had settled into their life yet another town over, and everybody was impressed about how well the parents of the two got along with each other.

One warm summer day, the sister of the recently-married bride burst into the house of a friend of hers, a stay at home mom going about stay at home mom business.

Front doors, of course, are stll not locked there, so she burst into the kitchen, tears streaming down her face, and she cried: "Don't tell anybody I just found dad and aunt Jenna having sex in the barn."

Which was an understandable but utterly wrong way to start the conversation.

Because the friend, now putting the vegetable chopping knife down, had had no idea.

Now she knew.

Hugs, tears, consoling sweet words, more hugs and more tears followed, and the distraught witness eventually went back home. While she skipped the family dinner that day, as did everybody else, they patched things up, and got on with their lives.

So, living in the countryside can gave awkward moments, but that should not scare you off.