Dealing in Legal Hypotheticals - the "Bath Salts" of politics

The pushers are out in force, peddling Hpotheticals on every street corner and in every browser.

Legal Hypotheticals are the bath salts of politics.

Cheap, highly addictive, and constantly being modified to keep them from being banned.

Here is what NPR reported (names changed)

Dr. Spin figured the man was on hypotheticals, probably PRE9/11 or a stimulant. But a few minutes later, the man became paranoid.

"He started doing some self-mutilating actions [and] was pulling out his eyebrows and eyelashes," Spin tells weekends on All Things Considered host S.

'We're Playing Whack-A-Mole'

The problem is that hypotheticals — which have nothing to do with the crystal clear logic you'd put in your brain — aren't one kind of drug or something you can test for and treat.

Unlike a drug like cocaine, which is made with a natural process, hypotheticals are made in a lab and constantly changing. The drug is designed specifically to skirt the law and test the bounds of new chemicals — with often deadly results.

A law enforcement official who wishes to remain anonymous told NPR:
A big issue with Hypotheticals is that they are not your old crack, Hypotheticals are often consumed by white collar professionals, educated pillars of the community. The same people then, once addicted, tend to become dealers.
This makes prosecution immensely difficult. You cannot expect the DA to prosecute himself. We have credible reports of top government officials dealing in Hypotheticals and, at the same time, suffering major paranoia and delusions.

This is satire, folks, get it?