The Simpsons (tm) -- fully tapped out

The resident gamer at the K-Landnews uninstalled Angry Birds (tm)!

The official primary reason was the NSA spying on players, as reported by news outlets around the globe. To the surprise of TheEditor, no other significant reason could be established in the subsequent banter about possible games to replace the birds.

The house, the office, the garden, all became very quiet for a couple of weeks until the voice of Homer Simpson chirped throughout the building. Sorry for using "chirp", it is hard to let go of bird lingo after extensive immersion.

Our gamer did not respond to "where are you, what 'you doing" but Homer's voice led the search party to the most remote room of the house.

What are you playing?

The Simpsons - Tapped out.

You like it?

It's great, but they are very high pressure in trying to get your credit card an make you buy in-game stuff like doughnuts.

Doughnuts?

They make things go faster, like buying buildings, or speeding up tasks.

Virtual doughnuts?

Yes.

Are you saying they want real money for the only non-fattening doughnuts in existence that also double as virtual speed?

Ahm.

You should put the game down and play outside.

In a minute, first I need to give everybody something to do for the next few hours.

You give the characters something to do?

Yes, I can have Flanders clean the brown house for four hours, for example, or tell Homer to hang out by the pool for six hours.

Needless to say, the whole conversation happened without eye contact and was punctuated by the gamer stabbing at the touch screen. The absence of eye contact allowed TheEditor to inch surrepetitiously closer to the gamer until a screen half filled with rows and rows of identical brown houses appeared. Only a single narrow street was visible in the gamer's version of Springfield.

That does not look like Springfield.

Oh, these, I bought these from the taxes I get from the characters. For every house, I collect more.

Why are there no streets between the houses?

Oh, they don't bring in any taxes, just take up space I need for more houses.

You realize you are being the worst slum lord ever?

Oh.

A shaken TheEditor left the room for a safer place in the house, thinking maybe I should hide in the basement.

We do not know if countermeasures against the instant slumlord are required. The credit cards are locked up.

We'll let the game run its course.

It might help if someone could publish an article about how the NSA is spying on The Simpsons.

Please.