Berlin Spaceport

We need to switch attributes. Not long ago, we called the new Stuttgart central  train station a Spaceport.

We were wrong, as the latest cost estimates for the Berlin Airport show.

So, we hereby strip Stuttgart of the monicker and re-assign it to Berlin.

Furthermore, we suggest the first passengers to take off from Berlin Spaceport in a single-use rocket to Mars to be the chief of the airport project and the mayor of Berlin, both of whom can be recklessly blamed for the fiasco.

The third seat on the rocket should be reserved for whoever takes over the project leadership.

By the time the thing will be finished, this person will have enough real or imaginary blame to his credit to deserve a taxpayer financed Mars trip.

In case everything goes smoothly for the remainder of the project, we nominate a multiple Tour de France winner for the vacant seat, pending engineering evaluation of the required amount of storage space for the performance enhancing drugs.

After safe arrival, they can set up the first human outpost on Mars, achieving stellar performance without inconvenient short deadlines.

If this is done for every new "Airport", mankind will have a pretty substantial Mars outpost in no time.

No, this suggestion is not cruel.

If we wanted to be cruel, we would have advocated they be sent on a one-way trip to Jupiter or Venus. And we are also not suggesting the performance enhancing drugs to be Viagra -- that would qualify as cruel and unusual.