We are overjoyed, we have been nominated for Best Transatlantic Satire Blog.
The illustrious nominating nominating body consists of all members of the K-landnews team, including all the editorial multiple split personalities. There is only one nominated blog, so we are quite confident to get the trophy, a Susan B. Anthony dollar. The one we have tried to raffle off but could not get rid of.
TheEditor commented on the great news:
I don't care about some stupid nomination. All I have ever wanted in the long months of blogging is be awarded an honorary doctorate, something for outstanding contribution to society. Brandishing the title, I could get a job that brings in serious money, and then I could ditch this darned blog, or give some monkeys in a shelter a few ruggedized bluetooth keyboards and have them continue the blog. With a few edits, nobody would notice a difference.
Split personality no. 1 added:
He is right, this is all just too depressing. When the news out there gets really bad, I have to take recourse to the method of French philosopher Montaigne, which means, I visualize the offending person sitting on the crapper taking a dump. That's supposed to get them back to a more human level.
Split personality 2 explained:
We have developed a method of visualization that is guaranteed to protect our sensitive American readers and to give any Chinese censor a raging hard-on. We call it "mental pixelation" (copyright & TM).
No one has ever done this before: you pixelate the affected area in your mind, so you get the positive effect of humanizing that person without creating any censorship problems or being offensive.
A note to the friendly Germans about the honorary doctorate: we'd be happy with a re-cycled one, you know, one of the titles you have taken away from cheating politicians in the last couple of years. We can fix the bad quotes.
Any doctorate will do, and thank you very, very much in advance.
No comments:
Post a Comment