New NEW Deutsche Telekom slogan

The bully's excuse, "Others do it too", will be added to the one week old new Telekom slogan.

We love the Pinky Heads of Deutsche Telekom for their unflappable complacency as the grand company of the German internet.

But others do it already, was their reaction to the hostility and jittery jokes about their introduction of throttled landline broadband access for new customers starting 1 May. What they did not say was that the few niche providers who do it offer their service a lot cheaper, have higher included volumes, and serve locations and people that Telekom won't touch.

3% of customers are responsible for over 30% of usage, so Hilda the hairdresser is paying for the excessive users, was their next argument. That's evil because they won't say if this includes business customers. And it is not true because the data traffic costs make up a few cents of the subscription.
Now, Hilda the hairdresser DID pay for some other folks, the American T-Mobile crowd, but, hey, that was yesteryear and all in good fun, right.

We can take a few days of heat for this, it'll blow over. 

The only somewhat honest statement in the whole mess. Despite some criticism, the main German media outlets have been letting Deutsche Telekom off pretty easy. You have to go to some smaller, specialized sites like Golem to get more information.

The K-landnews folks had an abominable service experience with the Pinky Heads of Telekom when we arrived here. We have been staying clear of all things Telekom ever since, even taken a different route through the shopping district one town over in order to not having to pass in front of their store.

How can we describe Telekom customer service to our foreign readers?

AT&T is so much better!

Still not graphic enough.

Try this:
Imagine yourself in a god-forsaken corner of the planet (like rural Germany). You have just been taken hostage by a pink clad goon squad but they cannot get the ransom request to your family (your loved ones have exceeded their 64 KB quota). So, the goons decide to strangle you to death with a free cable from surplus backbone lines. Before they do the deed, they make you fill out a customer service feedback form that asks "on a scale of 1 -bad- to 10 -excellent-, how would you rate the Pinky Heads service?"
To make the form easier, there is only one checkbox with "10 - excellent-".
Using your own pen, you check "10", and then the world turns black.

Hm, almost there.