Reform of the justice system

A modest proposal.

The justice system in modern societies is out of whack. Too many laws, too many regulations, too complicated, applied in a haphazard way at best. So many laws that it is already nearly impossible to avoid violating some.

A claim most people on the planet will agree to?

The law abiding citizen quoted in any major political speech may soon be a fictional being, about as real as unicorns. And that includes creative workarounds like gluing a paper horn on a horse.

Even the laws we have are conveniently ignored when deemed necessary. Of course, those doing the ignoring may be offended by this -- they are doing no more than clarifying or adapting to new challenges.
Much of the discourse, especially since 9/11, has centered on some fundamental freedoms but that's only a small part, the negative laws.

Positive laws can be a problem, too. Take the German law that gives citizens an extended access to government files and procedures. Which makes violators out of officials who stall, deny without reason or charge inappropriately high fees.

The chainsaw operating permit for your own yard (see the new German killers post), German customs raiding stores that sell eCigarettes, the old lady ordered by a court to learn German. The bubble gun classified as a weapon, the police dog classified as an officer (PETA should rejoice), the small time pot dealer charged with "attempt to overthrow the government" (they removed the charge, to which the defendant replied: "that was the only thing that was really true in the whole charade"). The obvious Twitter joke. Unlocking your cell phone. Two minutes of boobies on the web. Putting grandma's heirloom tomato seeds into the ground: soon to be illegal in the EU.

The wind picking up some GM pollen one field over, then the breeze strokes your plants and produces offspring -- already illegal in the US. Only a madman would call this outrageous. As a modern individual you are, of course, responsible for what the wind does on your property.

That does not even include some of the wonderful sodomy laws still on the books in the U.S.

While everybody is chasing the dragon of austerity and at the same time trying to squirrel away as much money as they can, the K-landnews worked  on a solution to the problem.

Found it.

The Catholics and the US Civil War have the answer.

From the Catholics we take the "we are all sinners, but there is a way out". From the Civil War, we take the "let me give you some money, so you go fight while I attend to pressing business at home".

One modern problem we have not yet mentioned is the "burden of proof" issue. For a very short period in human history, someone out to harm you in court had to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you did something illegal.

People will one day call it the "Golden Age of Freedom", we call it "the ten minutes they were asleep at the wheel".

Today we are back to the not so glorious times of the Catholics: prove that you are not a witch. Our old lady and the internet posts, or the 500 Euro bill post are examples.

In the near future, with intelligent video surveillance everywhere, the criminal five minutes you wait at the bus stop will get you!

Our justice system reform is this: 
Everybody goes to prison at least once, no specific charge filed. Everybody can pay someone else to go to prison for them. The richer you are, the more often you go - or pay.

The advantages:
Zero changes to existing laws - just a single, short new one.
The United States government will not run out of squeaky clean candidates for jobs from garbage man to president -- we shouldn't say this, but the US government has a recruitment crisis because of the "rap sheet support program for the national paper industry".
Poverty will be a thing of the past -- if you need money, the wealthy folks will help out of their own free will.
The current penalty system for things like petty theft will be re-labeled to "bonus system". Instead of breaking out of prison, you "break in".
So many resources currently tied up in nonsensical activities will be freed up for beneficial use -- like the first Mars colony full of lawyers and Hewlett Packard marketing people.
We will, finally, be equal before the law, there won't be any more holier than thou crowds.

Imagine the new possibilities.
Do as much insider trading as you like - just pay a dropout student to go for you. A woman who, after tears and soul searching, had that abortion -- no problem, you can look the fetus mongers in the eyes and tell them, yes, I did go to prison for it. Racism -- gone, done my time for that!

The disadvantages:
There is a potentially small group of people who do not violate any laws or regulations. Hermits, nuns, bloggers, and handicapped folks are the first that come to mind.
We will need to find an equitable solution for them, like collecting all the unused monopoly games sitting in attics across the nation and giving these people the get out of jail free cards.
Although, if we include the damage we all cause through consumption of stuff to other humans somewhere on the planet, we are all guilty as not charged.

The consequences of failure:
There is a danger that, without decisive action, the next version of homo sapiens will become an animal in which cognitive disconnect will be genetically hard wired. Will this make a difference to the world? Of course not.

One more thing:
Apologies to Hollywood for taking away the law and justice flicks. Apologies to the NRA for taking away "When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns", but you do get to keep your guns. We are also working on a game theory based approach to the death penalty but, so far, we only have a name: Texas Hold'em.

Oh, sure, not modest, but you get the joke. Now, where'd my Prozac go?